I Booked My First Therapy Session—Now What?

First off, kudos to you for taking the leap into your therapy journey! I could write a whole post on just how to find a therapist, so you’ve already completed the first big step. Chances are you’ve already done a consultation call with me to get a sense of my style and see if my voice is annoying to you–we (i.e., therapists) know that’s a big reason for these consult calls!

Now that you’ve navigated the scheduling process it’s time to come to the office or log in for your first session, aka the intake session. For my virtual folks, it’s really quite simple. Use the link I’ve provided and make sure you’re in a quiet, confidential space with strong wifi connection. Please don’t join while driving or I’ll have to reschedule our session! Therapy is not a business call, so please make yourself comfortable. Feel free to sit on your couch, cozy blanket in your lap, and warm beverage in hand. Don’t be shy to introduce me to your pets!

If you’re able to join me in my office, that's wonderful! I’ll share directions to the space and parking information in an email so you’re prepared. My office is equipped with snacks, coffee/tea/hot cocoa, water, and candy so please help yourself before, during, or after your session. Items in my office have been bought for my clients in mind, so please use the pillows, blankets, art supplies, etc. if they would make you more comfortable. I also built my office with my clients in mind, so if there are specific things you would love to have in your therapy space, please please tell me!  

Now That You’re Settled, Here’s What to Expect

Before meeting a client for the first time I always read through every piece of intake information I get, including your background information and any routine assessments I send. This is to (hopefully) make this first meet feel more casual and less like an interrogation, but trust there will be questions! To me, therapy is relational (this is research based, as well, and I’m happy to share with you). This means that our relationship is one catalyst for change. The ability to feel seen, understood, and safe in a relationship is a key to moving past insight and into real change. So, if there are things about myself that you’re curious about or needing to know in order to feel safe in the therapy space, please ask. 

In this session we review your goals for therapy, your experience in therapy, your history and background, and get to know each other. I am not a blank slate therapist, so if that’s what you’re looking for then we may not be a good fit. I will give you my raw, honest reactions and responses in hopes to create an authentic and boundaried relationship. 

If you’re specifically seeking EMDR therapy, we may also discuss this more if we have time in the first session. 

The goal of an intake, from my perspective as the therapist, is to just get to know you. I’m not oblivious to the fact that you won’t know me yet and it can take time to feel comfortable with someone, so there is not a rush to share every part of yourself in the intake. Building trust and safety takes time and the rush to “feel better” can’t make time move faster.

Next Steps Following the Intake Session

Cue deep exhale. You survived the first session. It’s okay if you stumbled through it, sat in brief awkward silence, or don’t remember much of what you said. We’ve all been there! As the intake was coming to a close, we most likely scheduled your next session. However, the time until we meet again is a great time to reflect on the intake and listen to your gut. Did you feel safe enough? Understood enough? (I say ‘enough’ because as I said earlier, it takes time to develop a truly safe and comfortable relationship.) If not, or if you decided now is not the right time to start therapy, you are absolutely allowed to decide not to work with me. I don’t take offense to this in any way, in fact I respect you for listening to your needs and making that decision. I’ll even drop a short script below that you can send to me if you just weren’t “feeling it” during the intake.

“Hi Octavia, thank you for meeting with me during the intake and giving me your time and attention. However, at this time, [I’d like to pursue other options for therapy OR I didn’t feel like it was the right fit for me OR I don’t think I’m ready for therapy yet]. Thank you again for your time.”

Short and sweet. As therapists, we know we aren’t the right fit for every client and that’s okay. It is also our ethical duty to give you other therapist referrals if you decide we aren’t a good fit. A large part of our job is networking within the community so that we can connect you with the appropriate resources.

Cue another deep, DEEP exhale. Now the work can truly begin.