What to Know Before Starting EMDR Therapy
When a new client reaches out to me specifically asking for EMDR therapy, a few questions immediately come to mind. How did they hear about EMDR? Was it from a friend, another therapist, a podcast, or a recent TikTok they stumbled across? What do they already know about it? What are they hoping it will do for them?
EMDR has become increasingly popular in both therapist circles and on social media. While that's helped more people learn about it, it also means that many clients come into therapy requesting EMDR without fully understanding what it is or how it works. My hope is that this post helps answer some of those questions and gives you a clearer picture of what to expect.
So, What Is EMDR?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It's an evidence-based therapy approach used to treat a wide range of experiences, including trauma, anxiety, phobias, and distressing life events.
There are several theories about why EMDR works, but the one I was taught is called the working memory theory. During an EMDR session, we use something called bilateral stimulation (BLS)—often through eye movements, tapping, or alternating sounds—while you bring a memory or experience to mind. This process taxes the brain's working memory, which can reduce the vividness and emotional intensity of the memory over time.
The goal isn't to erase memories or pretend difficult things never happened. Instead, EMDR helps the brain store those experiences in a way that feels less overwhelming and more manageable.
The 8 Phases of EMDR
One thing that surprises many people is that EMDR is much more than simply revisiting memories while moving your eyes back and forth. In fact, a significant portion of the work happens before any reprocessing begins.
Here's a brief overview of the eight phases and what they may look like in therapy.
Phase 1: History Taking and Treatment Planning
Just like any therapy, we start by getting to know your story.
Every therapist approaches this phase a little differently, and I'm still refining the process that works best for me. Right now, I keep a running note where I jot down themes that emerge as we talk—things like safety, control, responsibility, perfectionism, or shame. I also pay attention to negative beliefs that come up, such as "I'm not good enough," "It's all my fault," or "I can't trust anyone."
This is also when I get a general understanding of the experiences you'd like to work through. I never ask for detailed accounts of traumatic events. Instead, I encourage clients to share only enough information for us to identify the memory and come back to it later when they're ready.
I also offer negative belief cards to help organize the process. Clients can sort through different core beliefs and identify the ones that resonate most strongly with their experiences. This often helps make sense of patterns that may have been present for years.
Think of this phase as creating a roadmap for our work together.
Phase 2: Resourcing
Phases 1 and 2 often overlap. Sometimes before we can begin processing difficult experiences, we need to make sure you have enough support and coping tools in place. As I've continued learning and practicing EMDR, I've found myself starting all clients in Phase 2.
This phase is all about grounding, coping, and regulation. First, I teach clients about the window of tolerance and how our nervous systems respond to stress, danger, and trauma. Understanding these responses helps us determine which skills will be most useful. The tools that help someone experiencing panic are often different from the tools that help someone who tends to dissociate or shut down.
We spend time practicing visualization exercises, building body awareness, learning grounding techniques, and identifying what helps you feel safe and connected in the present moment.
Depending on your history and current level of distress, it's not unusual to spend weeks—or even months—in this phase. While it can be tempting to rush into processing, I've learned that healing tends to happen more smoothly when your nervous system feels prepared for the work ahead. I often remind clients that healing moves at the speed of safety. Before revisiting painful experiences, we want your body to know it has somewhere safe to return to.
Phase 3: Assessment
Once we've identified a target memory and you've built enough resources, we move into assessment. This phase helps us understand how the memory is currently stored in your brain and body. We'll identify the image that represents the experience, the negative belief attached to it, the emotions that come up, and any sensations you notice in your body.
We'll also identify a positive belief you'd rather hold about yourself. For example, a client who currently believes "I'm powerless" may want to move toward believing "I can handle this" or "I am capable."
This phase gives us a starting point and helps guide the reprocessing work.
Phase 4: Desensitization
When people think of EMDR, this is usually the phase they're imagining.
During desensitization, you'll briefly bring the target memory to mind while engaging in bilateral stimulation. After each set, I'll ask you what you're noticing, and we'll follow wherever your brain naturally goes.
What often surprises clients is that there is very little pressure to "do it right." The brain tends to make connections on its own. Memories, emotions, thoughts, body sensations, and insights may arise naturally as the process unfolds. The goal is not to relive the experience. Instead, we're helping the brain process information that may have gotten stuck when the event originally occurred.
Over time, the memory typically becomes less distressing and feels more like something that happened in the past rather than something that's still happening now.
Demonstrating the ‘butterfly hug’, a form of bilateral stimulation.
Phase 5: Installation
Once the distress connected to the memory has decreased, we strengthen the positive belief identified earlier.
Using bilateral stimulation, we help reinforce the new belief so that it feels more true and accessible. For example, a client may begin treatment believing "I'm not safe" and eventually move toward "I can protect myself" or "I am safe now."
This phase focuses on helping those healthier beliefs take root.
Phase 6: Body Scan
Our bodies often hold onto experiences long after our minds understand them. During the body scan, you'll think about the memory and positive belief while noticing any lingering tension, discomfort, or sensations in your body.
If anything remains, we'll continue processing until your body feels more settled and aligned with the work you've done.
Phase 7: Closure
Every EMDR session ends with closure, whether or not we've fully completed processing a memory.
Closure helps ensure that you're grounded and regulated before leaving the session. We may use relaxation exercises, visualization techniques, or other coping strategies we've practiced along the way.
The goal is for you to leave feeling stable and supported, even if there is more work to do next time.
Phase 8: Re-Evaluation
At the beginning of the next session, we'll check back in with the work we completed previously.
How does the memory feel now? Has anything changed? Are there new insights, emotions, or experiences that have emerged since our last appointment?
This phase helps us determine whether a target memory has been fully processed or whether additional work is needed.
A Final Thought
One of the most important things to know about EMDR is that it isn't a one-size-fits-all process. While the therapy follows these eight phases, each person's experience will look a little different.
Some clients move through the phases quickly. Others spend more time building safety, learning regulation skills, or strengthening resources before beginning reprocessing. Neither approach is better than the other.
EMDR works best when it's tailored to the individual sitting in the room. If you’re curious about how EMDR may be helpful for you, feel free to schedule a free consultation call.
